🚨 Breaking : Bethany Receives Divorce Papers From Larry🔥
[Scene: Bethany’s living room. She’s opening the mail. Larry walks in, calm as ever.]
Bethany: (tearing open envelope) What is this? … (eyes widen) Wait a minute. Wait a—LARRY! What is THIS?!
Larry: (hands in pockets, calm) That’s exactly what it looks like, Bethany. Divorce papers.
Bethany: (gasps loud, clutching chest) Divorce?! From YOU?! Oh, so you think you just gon’ file some papers and erase me like I’m a typo?
Larry: (shrugs) Bethany, this been a long time coming. You knew this was over.
Bethany: Over?! Boy, please. We done broke up, made up, broke up again more times than Amber had wigs in one week. You ALWAYS come back.
Larry: (smirks) Not this time. This time, it’s legal.
Bethany: (throws papers down on couch) Oh, so now you Mr. Lawyer Larry, huh? Walking around with contracts and signatures. Who even helped you with this? Was it that little friend of yours—what’s her name—Tammy with the crooked eyebrows?
Larry: (laughs) Ain’t nobody helped me. I did this myself. And guess what? My pen ain’t shaking no more. I signed them papers bold.
Bethany: (points finger at him) Larry, let me tell you something. You might think these papers free you, but you ain’t free from ME. You gon’ see me every time you close your eyes. You gon’ hear my voice every time you try to sleep.
Larry: (mocking her voice) “Larry! Larry! Larry!” Girl, I been hearing that for years. That’s exactly why I’m filing.
Bethany: (hands on hips) Oh, so you tryna be funny now? Filing papers like you Beyoncé singing “Irreplaceable.” Boy, YOU the one who’s replaceable. I’ll have another man in this house before the ink dry!
Larry: (grins) Good. Maybe he’ll put up with you better than I did.
Bethany: (gasps, grabs throw pillow and smacks couch) Oh, so that’s how you feel?! After everything I done for you—washing your funky socks, cooking your half-done chicken, standing by you when you ain’t even have no car?!
Larry: (serious now) Bethany… don’t make this harder. I tried. Lord knows I tried. But I can’t keep circling back. This merry-go-round making me dizzy.
Bethany: (sinks into couch, fake crying) Oh, so now I’m a ride? I’m an amusement park to you?! You gon’ regret this, Larry. You gon’ be out there lonely, eating frozen dinners, wishing Bethany was there to spice up your life.
Larry: (heading to the door, calm) Maybe. But at least I’ll have peace.
Bethany: (yells after him) PEACE?! You ain’t gon’ know peace when I show up at that courthouse in red, looking better than your future!
Larry: (chuckles, walking out) Then I’ll see you in court, Bethany. Dressed in black. Like a funeral.
Bethany: (snatches divorce papers, talking to herself) Divorce? Ha! This ain’t over. This just intermission. Act Two about to start… and Bethany always steals the show.
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